so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
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