a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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