Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
