im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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