We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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