Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
