plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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