So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
