Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize