he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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