I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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