Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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