Soap is not a condiment
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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