His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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