My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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