dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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