i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
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I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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