Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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