This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
