I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize