So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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