In the future we'll all be gay
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
