I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
