This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
