The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
