I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
