This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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