I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
