That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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