I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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