Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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