I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
