Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
