Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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