You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
