why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
