I smell stomach acid.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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