Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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