I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
3pm strippers are depressing
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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