I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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