just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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