Say something about gay babies.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
