You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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