Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
kristin has been a bad kristin
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
