State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
sarcasm needs its own font
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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