My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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