He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just pee around me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And then my night got REAL pukey
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize