Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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