No more Irish car bombs ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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