Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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