great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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