y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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