Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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