By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
