I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
