The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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