Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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