We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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