your parents love me but you hate me
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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