i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
