I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
