oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
