woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
