Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
